Caught mid self portrait

I’ve been caught in the middle of a lot of things by roommates of the past.  What happened this evening may be the most initially embarrassing and difficult to explain examples yet.

 

I snagged this rather large old mirror out of a storage unit in Christiansburg.  I painted the thang sum wild red mixture of my own and it’s been in the basement drying for over a month.  Today I was happy to lug its dry and heavy self upstairs and into the bathroom where I planned on  doing a self portrait of myself scrub a dub dubin’ in the tub.  Well about midway into the sketch my roommate and boss/employer comes home. I had an Isis vinyl spinning and the stereo thumpin’ so I didn’t hear him come in.  So here I am with my legs spread and feet dangling over top of the tub scribbling something fierce on my moleskin that is sitting below the tubline on my lower thigh.  So walking by the open doored bathroom my roommate sees this sprawled out naked little caveman looking at himself in the mirror.  ”BROUGHMAN!” is all I hear and with a splish and a splash I nearly turned the water brown.  Once I was able to contain my laughter I went back to business chuckling a bit throughout till giving up on the drawing.Afterwords I went outside, showed Daryl my sketch and then helped with the lawn to redeem myself.  

I’d rather have been caught in the middle of jerkin it than drawing myself nude.

Wanted to get my feet dangling but blew it up too much

All in all the story and the cell phone capture are better than the self portrait.  I initially wanted to capture my dangling legs , which would explain the pose; however, I blew things up too much.The cell phone picture was an attempt to recreate what my poor roommate walked in on.

 

DE LA BROUGHMAN

Playing Possum

To kick off our new Just for Fun Assignment, or rather to continue a topic we already had going no category for, here is absolute proof that red and blue states are inherently different.

Another gem from Awkward Family Photos.

WDT

will.i.am.in.jail

So it would appear that someone somewhere has made the slightest of mistakes because it would see that your loveable host WDT has been incarcerated since he was 18… let me put that another way… the Commonwealth of Virginia, in all their glory sentenced me in August of 2002 to 85 months in jail for a moving violation – SEVEN AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS!

Now.  Let’s see.  That means I’m a fugitive.  My term of sentence doesn’t even end till next spring for Jesus’s rollerblading sake.  How on earth is this possible… that I’ve been supposed to be incarcerated all this time and not be aware, nor the state or county be bothered that I haven’t been in my cell like a good convict?  I can’t say, but I do know that I only became of aware of this when I was informed by my current employer about an odd part of my background check…

Woah woah woah… I’ve applied to how many jobs since i was 18? Dozens… and every time they ran a background check they saw that I was currently in prison and said nothing? That might explain a few times I didn’t get that callback, but what about the places that did hire me and didn’t think to mention my better part of a decade sentence… Wow.  I mean, fuck nuts.

Prisoner of My Own - Shimoda

So needless to say, I’m entertained and there are two things that will be stemming from this recent news. I’ll be contacting the state and screening company to right the clear wrongs in my legal history and I’ll be throwing a hell of a release party on my official release date next year… So get ready for that hot mess.

Bonus: I may get a prison tattoo as well, I don’t know, we’ll see. Suggestions welcome.

WDT

Who’s Your Daddy…?

Awkwardly viewed at Awkward Family Photos.

WDT

Realization of a new project

My mac died a few months ago (yes they die all the time too) and I’ve become somewhat of a public computer whore in order to uphold some sort of wildly unprofessional internet presence.  While making a post to fulfil the self portrait a week assigment for arttthis I stumbled across some great pictures that for whatever reason people didn’t delete or completely delete photos they took of themselves in Mac’s Photo Booth. KILLER STUFF.  From now on I will come to best buy at least once a week and try to find a few jems left on the machines.  Go to flickr for a decent amount that I’ve already found.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE INTERNET!?"

 

BEING THIRTEEN IS FUN

The long lost Warhol of Charles Manson

 

I found Jesus at a Best Buy in Southwest Virginia

 

Mike Tyson showed up too

Cyanide and Happiness

WDT

Wiki-ME-dia

Just the ticket in today's world.

WDT

The Claw

It’s exactly what tit looks like.

WDT

I Suck at Art for a Good Reason

Art is for suckers errr no FUCKERS

OHHHHHHHH That's why I can't draw.

So last Sunday I had a bit of a breakdown after drawing a rather horrible self portrait ( right). I posted the picture to our arthole beta blog of sorts saying it was one of those drawings that “makes me wonder why the fuck I studied art in college becuase I fucking suck at it.”

Well I’m no less dissappointed with the sketch; however, things are less confusing now.

SEE GRAPH BELOW

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOW I REMEMBER WHY I SWITCHED TO STUDIO ART.

I do recall an important breakthrough artistically in my college days… I was flinging semen on the breasts and stomach of a tanned young model when I finally understood the significance of Jackson Pollock.

Marc Johns knows what’s what

WDT